THE Recipe: Chocolate Chip Bacon Cookies

Hello Everybodies!
This is Julie, Michael’s wife. I’ve hacked* his site because I need to tell y’all something. Something very important.

Something important about cookies. These cookies, actually.

They’re very important. Exceedingly important.

 

They contain elements from the three major food groups: liquor, chocolate and bacon.

You see what I mean? Don’t be a Scrooge. Make the cookies.

The fate of Tiny Tim rests in your hands.

 

The things you’ll be needin’:

16 ounces of nice and fatty bacon
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup butter, melted and chilled to room temp
1/2 cup bacon grease, chilled to room temp
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 tablespoons Maker’s Mark Whisky (or substitute with a nice bourbon)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips (or dark chocolate chopped up into wee bits, your preference)

The stuff you’ll be doin’ with ’em:

We begin with bacon. Cut it up into square pieces, 1/4″ to 1/2″ squares or there abouts. They’ll get smaller as you cook them.

Get out your bacon frying pan or griddle or whatever tickles your fancy. You might want to take this part slow, because it’s gets a little crazy here.

Isn’t it a little early to be crazy? No, it’s more efficient this way. Shutup.

Keep the heat on low. Now while you’re slowly cooking your bacon, you’re going to want to drain the fat that comes off of it and pour it into a measuring cup. (be careful here, don’t spill. Also, very hot bacon grease and cold glass do not mix, so don’t, like, refrigerate your glass measuring cup or something and then pour bacon grease in it. It won’t be pleasant.)

You can stop draining your bacon when you get about a 1/2 cup of it. If you get less, don’t worry about it, you’ll just add more butter later.** Toss any extra. Put the bacon grease in the fridge for it to cool off for a few minutes.

Finish cooking your bacon until it’s nice and crispy. Not burnt, mind you, just crispy. Set it aside on a paper towel lined plate to drain and cool. If you have any bigger bacon bits, this is a good time to scrunch them up until they are all about 1/4″² or so. (smaller is ok, too.)

Melt your butter in a sauce pan. Don’t boil it or anything, just make it liquid. Then let it cool off with the bacon until it’s about room temp.

Preheat the oven to 350º F. (The Google tells me this is equal to 176.67º C. That’s pretty darn particular, Google.)

Sift the “dry” ingredients together in a smallish mixing bowl. (flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder)

Put the cooled butter and chilled bacon fat in your mixer bowl. Add the white sugar, brown sugar, whisky and vanilla, cream it until it is well combined.

Add the eggs one at a time- this is why it’s important that you chilled your fat. Hot fat + raw eggs= omelette. Ew.

Gradually beat in your “dry” mix.

Stir in the cooked bacon pieces and chocolate bits. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto parchment-lined baking sheets at least 3″ apart.

Bake for 9 to 11 minutes or until they turn into a golden brown, chewy, salty and sweet cookie with a bite of bacony excellence. It’s magic!

 

This will make about 3 dozen cookies, but for sake of my thighs, I’ve only made three tonight.***

 

Put three cookies on your Mr. Face plate. Snarf down two of them immediately.

 

Then make hair for Mr. Face with the last cookie.

Then eat his face.

Then dance.

Lovels to you all,

JD

* By “hacking”, I mean I asked him for his password and he was crazy enough to give it to me.

** The goal here is to have a full cup of fat. So if you only squeezed 1/3 of a cup of fat from your bacon, you’re going to want to melt 2/3 of a cup of butter now.

*** Refrigerate your leftover dough; it should keep for up to 5 days or so.

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